Well...TODAY IS THE DAY THE QUEEN TURNS FIFTY!!!! Hmmmm....for some reason I think there are going to be a few surprises happening around me this week...little clues lead here and there, but nothing firm quite yet! This is going to be a fun day, I can tell already!
I have not minded turning Fifty in the least. To me it just gives me one more reason to be myself, not worry about what others think and to speak the truth, be transparent and enjoy who God has made me to be!!!
And to top it off, it is SUNNY here in Alaska today and we have had sunshine for the last two weeks! That is longer than we had in the entire Summer last year, so it means everyone is happier right now! I love the Sunshine! Thank you Lord!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Right Now I have 109 more hours...
This is the last time I got to hug my son, right before he went to get on the plane. He left for Hawaii, where he is based, and in 109 more hours, as of right now, he will leave the country for WAR. Now, I know that there are lots and lots of parents out there that have to say goodbye to their children as they send them off, but, I personally have never had to do this before, and frankly...I WANT TO SCREAM...NOOOOOO...you can't have him. And it is probably a good thing that I cannot go to Hawaii to see him off, because I am not sure I could do it. I am pretty sure I would embarrass him, by not letting go, and they would have to sedate me to get my arms off of his ankles...So Praise God, I can't go. I would hate to embarrass him in front of his Marine friends.
But, this photo speaks a thousand words, as I look at it, and I remember what was going through my mind. This is my SON...I love him SO MUCH...I just never knew it was going to be so hard to let him go. I truly hope I can get through this next few days without becoming dehydrated, from crying so many tears. Note to self "Drink lots of water this week"...just in case.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Being the Mother of a Marine
Jan 14, 2009 8:34 PM
Subject:
Afganistan (my heart revealed)
Body:
Are you gonna get to take you computer and have skype?
I know you are excited and you want to go see what war is all about...but oh my God...how does a mother do this? How do I let you go to war and not know for sure if you will get to come back to me alive? For you it is all excitement,(I am not angry about that, I just need you to see the difference) something you have been training for, for a year now, and you get to go to a different part of the country, and even shoot your rifle, or possibly kill a man.
For me....I just have to picture myself placing my first born son on the altar at God's feet, and telling God....you just gave him to me for a short time God, now I am giving him back to you...You, God, have to keep him safe...You have to bring him home....He is yours, and my heart is yours, and I trust YOU will do what is best for both of us....Oh LORD God....be real to him....he's MY Boy!!!! How can a mothers heart live through this? SCREAMING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO at the top of my voice. But KNOWING that it will happen, it has been meant to happen for a long time, and I will live! But my heart feels as if it will BREAK and never be put back together again!
Panic sets in and I think....I have to go...I have to see him one more time before he goes away for a year...my mind darts to and fro...how can I do this? HOW CAN I DO THIS GOD?????????????
But you will go son....it is your calling....I have known that for a very long time....but I don't think a mothers heart can ever be prepared for this.
As you will find out that a man's heart can never be prepared for killing of another. May God make it so that never has to happen, but Tedward, if it does, may God make you whole, and may you always know that HE is the Healer of our Souls....You may not even get that right now...but you will. One day you will.
I pray that you will always know the love your Dad and I have for you and that you will just always be aware of the fact that we will pray without ceasing for you protection and your mission.
You are MY SON...A GIFT FROM GOD...and I give you back to the ONE who made you!
With all my love and my heart....
Your Mom
Subject:
Afganistan (my heart revealed)
Body:
Are you gonna get to take you computer and have skype?
I know you are excited and you want to go see what war is all about...but oh my God...how does a mother do this? How do I let you go to war and not know for sure if you will get to come back to me alive? For you it is all excitement,(I am not angry about that, I just need you to see the difference) something you have been training for, for a year now, and you get to go to a different part of the country, and even shoot your rifle, or possibly kill a man.
For me....I just have to picture myself placing my first born son on the altar at God's feet, and telling God....you just gave him to me for a short time God, now I am giving him back to you...You, God, have to keep him safe...You have to bring him home....He is yours, and my heart is yours, and I trust YOU will do what is best for both of us....Oh LORD God....be real to him....he's MY Boy!!!! How can a mothers heart live through this? SCREAMING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO at the top of my voice. But KNOWING that it will happen, it has been meant to happen for a long time, and I will live! But my heart feels as if it will BREAK and never be put back together again!
Panic sets in and I think....I have to go...I have to see him one more time before he goes away for a year...my mind darts to and fro...how can I do this? HOW CAN I DO THIS GOD?????????????
But you will go son....it is your calling....I have known that for a very long time....but I don't think a mothers heart can ever be prepared for this.
As you will find out that a man's heart can never be prepared for killing of another. May God make it so that never has to happen, but Tedward, if it does, may God make you whole, and may you always know that HE is the Healer of our Souls....You may not even get that right now...but you will. One day you will.
I pray that you will always know the love your Dad and I have for you and that you will just always be aware of the fact that we will pray without ceasing for you protection and your mission.
You are MY SON...A GIFT FROM GOD...and I give you back to the ONE who made you!
With all my love and my heart....
Your Mom
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Govenor's Picnic and Military Appreciation Picnic
When I went to this Sarah gave out blue star flags to each person who had someone in the Military. I got to tell about my son Ted who is a Marine and my daughter RuthAnn who is going to boot camp on Sept. 22nd. Sarah hugged me and said I was a brave Marine Mama!